October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and a CWA 1037 member and survivor has chosen to share their story to shine a light and help others experiencing domestic violence.
If you are in immediate danger, call 911. For confidential support and resources, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE (7233) or text START to 88788.
Q: What would you like to share about yourself and your experience with domestic violence?
I grew up in a home where substance use, and domestic violence existed, and as a result of these concerns I was placed in foster care. As a kid I made a promise to myself and God that if I got out of that situation, I would help other kids, and through my work, I’m proud to say I have.
As far as my experience with domestic violence hasn’t been violence in my relationship with my fiancé until August, 2025, when, after trying to work on our relationship, I finally asked him to leave, and he shot me.
I have had plastic surgery for my wounds, but I am otherwise unharmed, amazingly.
And I’ve been to group and individual therapy to process what happened and be okay with it.
Q: What have you been going through, emotionally?
A lot of blame and self-doubt for not recognizing signs, for staying too long. Realizing that he was depressed and unwell I tried to do all that I could to help him, but often feel that it wasn’t enough. Because I’ve been trained in mental health crises, I felt like I should have done more to try to help him, but then I remind myself that this blame won’t help me heal. I still don’t really understand the how, and why, of it all. Maybe I never will, but that’s not what is most important.
Q: What is most important for you to focus on?
My mental health, and healing physically. I have another surgery scheduled for late November, and I don’t want to return to work until that’s in the rearview mirror, so I can fully focus.
Once I heal, I plan to return to work, where I love what I do. This is what I promised myself and God I would do when I was younger. I want to remember to put myself first, and take breaks that keep me healthy. Working in an emotionally intense role, with the Department of Children and Families, I’ve neglected myself, and seen coworkers do that, working through lunch, working too much overtime.
Q: What resources are out there for people experiencing domestic violence and other trauma?
NJ Family Leave is one. That has me covered for 12 weeks of unpaid leave, and an additional 20 days of leave was provided through NJ SAFE, a program I hadn’t heard of until I spoke to my CWA Staff Representative Diane. And my coworkers have donated a lot of paid time off, which I’m so grateful for. There is also Trauma Support Network for people who have experienced all types of traumatic experiences.
Q: Why is it important for survivors to share their stories?
Because there’s a light on the other side. I’m a private person, sharing something so personal is not in my nature, but I’ve leaned on people coming through this process, and it’s important to share for anyone else going through domestic violence that leaning on the right people helps. Making yourself vulnerable helps.
Q: What are your hobbies?
I enjoy gardening and during this time it has been very therapeutic in helping in this healing journey. Someone from the job sent me affirmative messages and herbs and seeds to plant. I love attending church and spending time with my friends and sisters, and family.
I’m an artsy person. I love seeing plays. My favorite is Wicked. I recently went to Maryland to see my cousin’s adult daughter’s perform with the Maryland Dance Project. I want to be more immersed in the arts.